Ode de Toilet
by PGGF
Summary: No matter how much she loves him, she just can't let him get away with it again. Loosely based on Brad Paisley's song of the same name.


Author: PGGF

Disclaimer: None of it's mine.

Summary: Loosely based on past life experiences and Brad Paisley's song, "Ode de Toilet."

Author's Note: I've worked and worked on this story for weeks. I'm still not satisfied with it, but I just couldn't look at it anymore. I'm not feeling too great about it so please let me know what you think.

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Rory tried her best to ignore it, but the pressing feeling just would not go away. She finally had to move. Throwing back the covers she immediately broke out into goosebumps because of the chilly air. Jess moaned lightly and tried to pull her back into his embrace, but she resisted and climbed out of the bed. As Jess moaned in his sleep again, she leaned over, brushed the hair out of his eyes, and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"I'll be back in a second."

This seemed to calm him and stop his movements. Finally turning away from him she stumbled over to the adjoining bathroom, not bothering to turn on a light because she didn't want to wake Jess up. The next thing she knew she plummeted into the freezing cold water.

"J-J-JESS MARIANO!"

Jess bolted straight up and looking around didn't see Rory anywhere. He jumped up and went in search of the light switch.

"Rory? What's wrong? Where are you? Are you hurt?"

"Hurt? No. But you are going to be in _so_ much pain when I'm finished with you!" Is what he gets in response.

"Huh?" Finally locating the light switch, he sees Rory in their bathroom with a towel around her waist.

"You promised me you wouldn't do this again. You are such a jerk!"

And that is all he gets before the door slams in his face.

"Rory, what are you talking about?" He was honestly confused.

"You left the stupid toilet seat up _again_ and I fell in, _again_. I swear, I thought you'd be trained by now."

"Rory, I'm sorry. It was late when I went to bed. I wasn't paying attention. I really didn't mean to."

The door opened back up and she bypassed his attempt to reach out and touch her, heading straight for the bed.

"I don't want to hear it. You may as well go sleep on the couch because there is no way in hell you are getting back in this bed with me."

"Fine. Whatever."

He made a move to get his pillow, but she beat him to it, shoving it under her head.

"Not happening, buddy."

He just rolled his eyes and went to leave the bedroom.

"Don't forget to turn the light off."

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The next day was one of the roughest days of Jess' life. First, he woke up late because Rory didn't tell him when the alarm went off. Instead, he was rudely awakened by the slamming of the door on her way out. Cursing when he noticed the time, he hurried to get into the shower. Rory had used all of the hot water so after a very brief, and very cold, shower he got dressed and rushed off to work. His boss had chided him for showing up late and decided to make him stay after to make up for it.

He was finding it harder and harder to concentrate on the manuscript he was supposed to be going over. He was thinking of Rory and how to make it up to her. He was clueless. It wasn't like this was the first or second time he'd left the toilet seat up, he was in double digits by now. His eyes fell to a photo of Rory on his desk and he thought of a great way to say he was sorry to her. Digging out a phone book he looked up the number for a flourist and called to have sunflowers delivered to Rory's office. Satisfied, he concentrated on getting his work done.

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It was late when he got home and Rory had already went to bed. His heart fluttered when he noticed the sunflowers in a vase on the coffee table in the living room, but sunk when he noticed his pillow on the couch. Hoping it wasn't what it appeared to be, he walked over to the bedroom and tried the door. It was locked.

'Oh well,' he thought stripping down to his boxers. 'At least she left me my pillow.'

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The next morning he was awoken by the blaring of an alarm clock that was right above his head. Hoping to catch Rory before she left, he rushed to the bedroom but she had already gone. Thankfully, aside from providing him with an alarm clock, she left him hot water this morning.

Fully dressed, he walked into the kitchen and noticed that she had also left him out a package of Pop-tarts and enough coffee for one cup. It was obvious she hadn't fully forgiven him yet, but he was wearing her down.

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He decided to up his game a bit. He usually wasn't the type to buy someone off, but he really was not in the mood to sleep on the couch again. He missed his bed. He missed cuddling in his bed with his incredibly warm and incredibly beautiful wife. It was something he'd had his eye on for awhile, but could never rationalize buying until now. It was a set of teardrop sapphire earrings. He first noticed them walking around with Rory one day. They were being displayed in a store window and had Rory written all over them. They were simple and classy, just like her.

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Rory was late getting home. She had to take some time away from work for a doctor's appointment and by the time she made it back to the office it seemed that everyone had been slacking off on getting their articles finished and she'd had to proofread them all before they could be printed. The first thing she noticed when she walked into the house was that Jess was already asleep on the couch. Smirking to herself, she wondered into the kitchen for something to drink. As she opened the refrigerator she noticed that Jess had cooked earlier and saved her leftovers. She made herself a plate and sat down at the table to eat her reheated pasta.

After she rinsed her dishes she set off get ready for bed. As she was in the bathroom performing her nightly ritual of washing her face and brushing her teeth she noticed that Jess had put the toilet seat down and not only that, placed a velvet box on the center of the lid. Grabbing the box and opening it up she gasped as she saw the gorgeous sapphire earrings that she had admired for so long.

Smiling to herself she walked back out into the living room and over to Jess. She softly kissed his lips until he woke up.

"Rory..."

"Hey. So are you coming to bed or what?"

Wordlessly Jess took her outstretched hand and allowed her to help pull him up and into their bedroom.

As Jess spooned her from behind, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, she couldn't hold in her excitement any longer.

"You know, you really are going to have to watch the whole forgetting-to-put-the-toilet-seat-down-thing. Especially in these next few months."

"Why the next few months?" He mumbled tiredly.

"Because I think it's going to be pretty difficult for you to be woken up in the middle of the night to pull your pregnant wife out of the toilet."


End file.
